A while ago, we had a few persons share their thoughts on dating colleagues, and there were valid arguments from both sides —-Yes, I’d date a co-worker, No, I’d rather take a pay cut. But even with the mixed reactions, and from a larger body of comments, romantic relationships still thrive at the workplace. And according to this report from The Washington Post, all thanks to Gen Z and the young millennials.
Gen Z is widely acclaimed to be the most confident and daunting demography in the workplace. When it comes to dating, there’s no difference. I read this article: Sneaky Ways Gen Z is Dating at Work, and the first thought that stood out for me is this: Gen Z can’t be bothered with any secrecy and are not only openly using dating apps at work, but also meeting up with potential love interests while on the clock.
Navigating social life is dicey for both remote and on-site workers. But while dating apps might have helped mitigate the timing and busy schedule, it really doesn’t offer the cordiality many workers desire. So, the next stop for some, however tricky, is sparkling relationships within the workplace. And the youngest workers are nailing it like they are hitting their goals one KPI at a time.
And where is the millennial in all of these? Well, the bug bites across the two youngest work age groups and the millennial has its own dating nuggets too.
For these five young persons, dating professionally —within their workplaces and within the startup ecosystem, generally— has been a rollercoaster. But it’s been worth it, and they share five dating tips that would work for busy employees.
“Dating smartly for me involves keeping a clear boundary and being open about our relationship” -Emeka, Software Engineer, 26
“My ex and I met in a devs community. We weren’t in the same workplace so to speak (I didn’t even have a 9-5, I work on contracts). But the community made us do some projects together. People knew we were dating, and I think that was one thing that helped; being open to other community members about it. Plus, I also believe in being discreet about my personal life at work. Dating smartly for me involves keeping a clear boundary between professional and personal matters. I ensure that my focus remains on my job during work hours, and I save discussions about my relationship outside the workplace. The only time we were all lovey-dovey was when we had social events. We broke up because she was relocating and didn’t want to do the long-distance thing. We are still cool, but conversations aren’t as frequent.”
“With a healthy work-life balance, I can date smartly at the workplace”- Chika, Marketing Associate, 25
“My ex was a co-worker from my former company. Yes, we broke up in the end and we both do not work there anymore, but I will still date a co-worker if I meet one I like. It was good while it lasted and we were able to separate our relationship from work. In the professional space, dating smartly means maintaining a healthy work-life balance. I ensure that my personal life doesn’t interfere with my work commitments. It’s essential to communicate openly with my partner about our schedules to plan quality time together without compromising our professional goals.”
“We were mindful of what was at stake and we didn’t date blindly” -Toluwalase, Human Resources Manager, 26
“Dating smartly in a professional setting means being mindful of potential conflicts of interest. In my years of work, I have avoided getting romantically involved with colleagues or subordinates to maintain a harmonious work environment. But my current relationship is with a former boss. It started with work dates, then we moved to casual dates until he asked me to be his girlfriend. I liked him already and couldn’t say no. What helped us was acknowledging the fragile situation we were in and not lying to ourselves that there won’t be conflicts. Eventually, he left for another company just so things could work out in the long run. If I were to date someone from work, I would disclose it to our superiors and adhere to the company’s policies to avoid any ethical issues.”
“I only date career-driven people and I think it makes my life easier” -Kayode, Entrepreneur, 28
“Dating in the professional space is very possible. In fact, I think it’s more interesting because your partner understands all the nuances of your job or business and you don’t have to shalaye too much. They understand the dips, the highs, the way money comes in and goes out, the way the structure of the workplace is, and all of that. I’m looking to grow my startup soon, and I only date career-driven people. I think it makes my life easier. I prioritize my career and personal life equally. I look for a partner who understands the demands of my work and supports my ambitions. We encourage each other to grow professionally while nurturing our relationship, and we carve out quality time to connect amidst our busy schedules.”
“It’s tricky, but it can work out. It worked out for me”- Ibrahim, Lawyer turn Financial Analyst, 30
“I used to be a lawyer, but my current career as a Financial Analyst is more fulfilling, and I owe it to my wife. We met at the firm and she helped me discover a part of myself I couldn’t figure out for a long time. It was difficult going on dates, mostly because our superiors frowned at it, but we couldn’t deny that we loved each other. We even broke up once and it affected our work. But we have a mutual friend who also works at the firm, and she was so instrumental in covering up for us and getting us back together. What helped was acknowledging that we were walking on eggshells, talking about it, and putting the firm into consideration even in our private lives. We discuss our career aspirations, expectations, and how we can support each other’s growth. It’s crucial to find a balance between work commitments and spending quality time together to nurture our relationship effectively. Dating smartly in the professional space requires setting boundaries and managing time efficiently. I make sure to prioritize both my work and personal life, so one doesn’t overshadow the other. I left the firm to start my current career, we got married, and everyone is good”.
CareerBuddy Fest 2023 will include a fun speed dating session, where young professionals within the startup space in Lagos get to strike conversations, spark connections, and establish long-lasting relationships with one another. Book a spot here before tickets get sold out!
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