Work relationships are complicated. If you’ve read our articles on office romance and colleagues we will never forget, you would understand this. And working with or for the family is another level of workplace relationship we need to talk about.
Where do you draw the line between being colleagues and being family? Are boundaries necessary or realistic when working in a family business?
For this article, I had conversations with 5 people who talk about what it means to work with and for family members.
Oyin
My dad is a lawyer and has a firm. The plan was for me to study law and join him but life had other plans. Even after my degree in Linguistics, he still found a way to make me work there after school, and it was dramatic if you ask me. At work, he would act like he didn’t know me from Adam. I didn’t even call him “daddy”, I called him what everyone else called him and he made sure I worked like everyone else. However, after my normal salary is paid, I get tips from him. In August this year, the firm clocked fifteen years and we had a get-together. He made a special toast to me and declared how proud he was of me in public. I was so embarrassed, but deep down I loved it! Everyone agreed to his accolades and it didn’t look like he was praising me above others. Sometimes, I wish I actually was a lawyer so I could work for him. I see the hurt in the eyes and I wish I can be that lawyer daughter he wants. We toyed around with the idea of going to do a second degree but I’m lazy. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t, I don’t know yet. I’m not there anymore sha, and I guess he has finally accepted that Law is not for me. Thankfully, my youngest sister is just about to finish secondary school, so there’s hope.
Babatunde
My Dad owns a security company, and I’ve always been a business-savvy person. I didn’t want to be boxed into one business so I never wanted to work with him; we had the fight and the conversation, and he eventually agreed. After service though, he asked that I help him for at least a year. That way, I could even make money, spend less, and save for my own business. I took the job. There were days we had a lot to do and there were also days I practically stayed back at the office doing almost nothing. I tried setting up my own business during those times, which may have affected my productivity at the office. I’m sure it wasn’t that serious, but trust my dad to say I’ve become the black sheep at the office, being lackadaisical about work and not caring about his legacy and all. My mum was just watching us like two rivals at loggerheads. I stayed for a couple more months before I moved to the north to start my business. My advice; working with a family or for a family is fantastic. But if you have your own dreams and they are different from your family’s business, it might be risky Sha. In the long run, there would be conflict and everyone would expect that you drop yours for your family
Deji
This wasn’t a formal place of work, but it taught me a lesson that I still live with in my current job. So, during one ASUU strike, years back, an aunt of mine suggested that I followed her to a camp to work and make some money. She was an executive assistant and supervisor and I was going to work with the kitchen and sanitary department. It was tough work, cooking and cleaning for hundreds or even thousands, but the pay was cool. Whenever my aunt visited the kitchen, she would always look out for me, and I felt kinda embarrassed because others weren’t babied like that. One time, she couldn’t hear to see me doing those tough work (carrying heavy objects and looking at dirty), so she asked me to come do something for her. I went to her office where I was helping her with administrative tasks and was there for a full day. In the end, I still got paid like everyone else.
I don’t think there would ever be that perfect boundary when you are working with a family member. The relationship between you will always play out, no matter how little or big. Now, I really don’t think I want to work with a family member again. I want to be free to do my stuff.
Eto
My big bro (a distant cousin but close family) is a tech bro with hopes of building his own startup. I’m a content writer, and it looked like the proper thing to do for me was to work with him. We started proper work in 2021 and I was in charge of all things content. At first, it was just writing content for backend developers to build the website and an app (that never saw daylight by the way). After some months, I was writing emails and doing content strategy plus social media management, and eventually marketing. No pay raise because we had to settle others first before we take care of “ourselves”. At some point, I wasn’t paid because we hit rock bottom but I had to keep working because it’s family business. I was tired and wanted to leave without offending anyone, so it was really a tight place for me. Right now, I’m still there on a self-imposed part-time basis. I applied for a job earlier this year and got it and I attend the startup in my free time. We didn’t have a discussion about this or hold any conversations, but he knows and he can’t fault me for it. If the tables were turned, he would probably do the same. I want to stop working for him totally, but it’s hard.
Gloria
I currently work in my uncle’s law firm, and I totally enjoy it. Maybe because my extended family is closely knit or it’s a good work environment compared to what colleagues in other firms experience, but I would stay here as long as I can. I’m treated like any other lawyer and other employees, and I still get to enjoy my favorite-niece benefits behind closed doors, but it’s like working anywhere else. I’m thinking of exploring tech law sometimes too, and there’s no provision for that here. Maybe that’s what will take me out of the firm and family wahala can now start. But my uncle is liberal and will never tie me down. If there will be any objections, they will be from his brother, my dad, and my mum. They are the strict ones.
Working with family can be a rewarding experience, but it is also important to be mindful of the challenges that can arise from such relationships. It is important to set boundaries and expectations, as well as to create a clear plan for resolving any conflicts that may arise. With clear communication, understanding, and respect, working with family can be a great way to strengthen personal and professional relationships.