Workplace harassment, especially sexual harassment is a common problem most women face in their careers. The men see us as just another eye candy, another trophy to claim for themselves, while our fellow women see us as another competition, defeating the entire statement of women supporting women that we clamor for.
We spoke to *Angela* (Not her real name), a member of the WorkHerholic community who was simultaneously being harassed at her former workplace by her male bosses and being bullied by her female bosses. Hopefully, this story not only exposes the deeds of these individuals, but that it also gives more women courage to stand up for themselves and walk out of unfavorable work situations.
Angela’s Story
I was just another intern at this government organization but I wasn’t just another intern, I stood out like a red scarf at a funeral and sis, I saw hell. No matter how lowkey I tried to be, I was usually the one to get the attention of my male bosses but didn’t want that attention, neither did I want to shrink myself.
Just in the first week, I had already caught the attention of a top management staff member that wasn’t even my boss. He was just in my section but we were in different units. All the women in my unit noticed the unsolicited attention I was getting from him and they hated me for it. That was when the jokes and the jibes began.
These women were old enough to birth me, but this man came into my office every single day, gisting with these women and they made sure they humiliated me as much as they could. I was only an intern at this time and things soon got intense. This man would “borrow” me from my unit to do work for him in close quarters and these women instead of helping me or coming to my rescue, they’d also ask me to take things to his office when they could easily have done it themselves. The moment I stepped out the door, I’d hear their whispers, their sarcastic comments.
Every opportunity they got, they’d set me up in such a way that my refusal would come off as disrespectful. That organization was the most coveted place to intern. Leaving wasn’t an option for me. The man soon started sending food to my office everyday and he would have the attendant announce that the food had come from him. This was in an open floor plan office! The women would see this and smirk and jibe. I couldn’t refuse food from Oga. This was the north!
Whenever he made advances towards me and I rejected him, he’d say, “You’re too firm with this your NO. You’ll say no and keep eating my food.” What was I to do? It wasn’t like I could throw the food away and besides, that dodo was really nice. I know they can use dodo to do me.
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He’d call on our office phone and ask them to send me to his office. These women would gladly announce it each time. He had my number. He could have called me if he wanted to, but he always ordered for me on the office phone. It was humiliating. I had to eat the food he sent no matter how many times I told him to stop. I could hardly get any work done. He sent me to buy food for him all the time. Sometimes, this man would eat breakfast twice. On by 9am and the second by 11am. If he sent someone else to buy the food, he’d refer them back to me because “she knows the way I like it.”
Until I left, these women would call me his wife and they’d tell me that he was Muslim and he could marry more than 1 wife. This was a disgusting man with walrus breathing sounds. These women made fun of the length of my dress. I have always been into makeup, so I always looked good. But it was a problem for them. If I looked or smelt good, then there was a problem. And these women knew. They knew what they were doing. One of them proudly declared that she would never let any of her daughters work in that organization no matter how much the pay. But they were willing to reduce another woman’s daughter to look like the office hoe.
Soon, there was another Oga in the office who also noticed me. He would randomly “run into me” when I was on my way to other offices. This went on until one babe from his unit came to warn me one day. She had told me not to get carried away just because these men liked me. She went ahead to warn me that most of the men in that organization were infected with HIV. I didn’t even know what to say. I just thanked her.
3 months at that organization felt like a lifetime. These men would have put me in very compromising situations and I would have been unable to clear my name. How would I even explain being in the office of a man who was not my direct boss even after work hours?
Sometimes, this man would tell me to sit in his office because he wanted to watch me while he worked. I was disgusted but I was also helpless. My female boss allowed it. My female coworkers enabled it. These men reduced me to eye candy and I could not do anything about it.
It was one thing for the men to harass me. It was another thing for these women to treat me that way. I have experienced multiple toxic situations from women at work. It wasn’t a one-off experience. Whenever a boss liked me, instead of them helping me to avoid him, they’d hate me for it. I’d hear stuff like, “Na because she fine,” “She thinks she’s all that.” I couldn’t learn anything from the women I worked with apart from how to avoid being groped.
Even if I gave my all into my job, all my efforts went unnoticed, both by the men and the women. It was exhausting. It upped my anxiety and my health took a hit. My doctor advised me to pull back and leave the office environment, to go remote. I was beyond happy to do so. This is why I now work remotely.
It’s the first time I have really let it all out. I love seeing women build and grow, but it hurts to know that my fellow women don’t feel that way towards me.
This is also why I was so excited to join your WorkHERholic community. It seemed like something refreshing from a change.
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This is Angela’s story. We know there are more stories of women in similar situations, and we just want you to know that you are not alone. You are stronger than all you’ve been through and if you’d like to tell your story, anything significant that you have experienced in your journey as a WorkHerholic, then we’re only one DM away.