Hi, CareerBuddy!
How do I deal with a toxic boss? This man hates me, no one can tell me anything.
This is a whole lot! I mean, you can always give your co-workers the middle finger [Don’t try this at work ] if they start acting funny but things can get really difficult for you if your boss has it in for you.
There are several angles this whole ‘‘toxic boss’’ scenario could play out and I’ll share a few…
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Your boss is a tyrant. Everybody dislikes him or her and this person is probably worse than Miranda Priestly from the Devil wears Prada
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Your boss is a good person but you’ve fallen out of favor with him/her due to a mistake from your end or just general unclear and unmet expectations
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Your boss is cool with everybody but YOU for no reason [At least none that you’re aware of]
For angle 1, if your boss is the founder of your workplace, then you might want to just leave. However, If they play a managerial role – and the overall system is not toxic – worst-case…you can team up with the rest of your colleagues to push this person out.
If you’re experiencing angle 2, all I can say is, try to clean your mess up.
However, angle 3 is the real bummer here. When your competence, integrity, or skill is not in question but your manager or boss just literally dislikes you, then THERE IS A PROBLEM.
So what should you do?
Here’s my standard bad advice, “Dislike them right back! Two can play that game! Nonsense and ingredientzz”.
But here’s the good advice if you still want to keep your job …
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Having a boss or manager that dislikes you is not fun at all but it’s not the end of the world. I know it gets all awkward most times and you feel the best way out is to up & quit but if this is a human and not a system problem…you may not need to go that far.
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Don’t you ever try to fade away: So your boss doesn’t like you and now you decide to just go unnoticed. That won’t help you at all because you’re already The Disliked…you don’t want to become The Unnoticed. The unnoticed, as I read in an article, might soon become The Unneeded. Continue to contribute to the growth of the team and business with excellence. So what if they don’t like you? At least they’ll be forced to respect the work you do.
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Don’t make the mistake of bad-mouthing your boss: This is a very slippery slope. In the course of engaging in harmless office gist, don’t get to that point where you start talking trash about your boss. If it’s so bad and you need to talk, do it OUTSIDE the work environment.
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Don’t send that epistle! I’m talking from personal experience. I once sent an epistle to my manager when I was an intern about what she did and how it made me feel. Do you know this person did not respond? I felt so stupid afterward.
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Finally, be civil. Say hello to your boss and try to start a conversation. Compliment them and do your best to be present. The truth is your boss might have started out disliking you because they had a wrong impression about you but if you don’t feed that energy… it’ll be difficult for them to hold on to that perspective.
Remember, not everybody will like you and even if you and your boss are not buddies, you can settle for civil as long as it doesn’t become abusive or aggressive in any way. But if you’re dealing with Lucifer’s assistant on earth here, then I suggest you start job searching.
I hope you found this helpful.